I find myself thinking about my mother often lately. Maybe she is connecting with me edging me forward into this project. She was a go,go,go person. She taught me much by example and did not lecture me, nor did she become long winded on right or wrong.
So what did I learn from her by example? I see her laughing alot in my minds eye. If I dwell on the memory, I can almost hear her laugh- what a infectious laugh she had. Of course when I was younger I didn't look( or listen) with wisdom. I couldn't have because I simply had no wisdom. Today, I have some wisdom. I have age. I have an empathic heart. I see my mothers lessons clearer. To me, it appears that she didn't spend time being vocal with her discipline. She never warned me to stay away from this type of person or, watch out for that result. No, she let me make my own mistakes. Once I made a mistake she would let me know if my personal decision resulted in making my mother disappointed with her. If my poor choice effected my mother in a negative way- well then that is the time I distinctly got some type of punishment. My mother was Italian, so depending on the severity of the result of my choices- I got a big wooden spoon across the hands,forearms or the backside. That only worked until I was about fourteen years old. After that, the sauce spoon was uneffective- and I would tell her"that didn't even hurt", My mocking only upset her more. A short time after whatever I did to disappoint her- she stopped resorting to the spoon and simply adjusted to the fact that I would, however infrequently at some point disappoint her. The good news is, I disappointed her a little less as I matured. We talked more in between my finding myself and learning that my mother wasn't just a mom but a woman.
Today, I raise my children with a great deal of the values she imparted with me as a kid. I taught my kids, never strike first, be equally kind, don't pretend to be stupid and know your beauty inside and out. Of course the simple compassionate rules exsist without saying like, say thank you and please, look at someone when they are talking to you or vice versa and honor family. Those simple old school rules where priority in my house. I made mistakes and tested waters within my parents expectations and designs for my life- but ultimately my mothers wishes have come up to the surface of my life and I see her far reach today.
So what did I learn from her by example? I see her laughing alot in my minds eye. If I dwell on the memory, I can almost hear her laugh- what a infectious laugh she had. Of course when I was younger I didn't look( or listen) with wisdom. I couldn't have because I simply had no wisdom. Today, I have some wisdom. I have age. I have an empathic heart. I see my mothers lessons clearer. To me, it appears that she didn't spend time being vocal with her discipline. She never warned me to stay away from this type of person or, watch out for that result. No, she let me make my own mistakes. Once I made a mistake she would let me know if my personal decision resulted in making my mother disappointed with her. If my poor choice effected my mother in a negative way- well then that is the time I distinctly got some type of punishment. My mother was Italian, so depending on the severity of the result of my choices- I got a big wooden spoon across the hands,forearms or the backside. That only worked until I was about fourteen years old. After that, the sauce spoon was uneffective- and I would tell her"that didn't even hurt", My mocking only upset her more. A short time after whatever I did to disappoint her- she stopped resorting to the spoon and simply adjusted to the fact that I would, however infrequently at some point disappoint her. The good news is, I disappointed her a little less as I matured. We talked more in between my finding myself and learning that my mother wasn't just a mom but a woman.
Today, I raise my children with a great deal of the values she imparted with me as a kid. I taught my kids, never strike first, be equally kind, don't pretend to be stupid and know your beauty inside and out. Of course the simple compassionate rules exsist without saying like, say thank you and please, look at someone when they are talking to you or vice versa and honor family. Those simple old school rules where priority in my house. I made mistakes and tested waters within my parents expectations and designs for my life- but ultimately my mothers wishes have come up to the surface of my life and I see her far reach today.