Beside my bed I have a photo of my mother and I. I think I am about ten years old and maybe my mother is in her thirties. She has a head full of nicely styled dark hair to the nape of her neck. Her arms are wrapped about me around my upper waist, in a gentle but secure way. My arms are outstretched and I appear to be in a feety pajama. Nothing else marks this photo in my heart as deeply as the sincere wide smile I have on my face in the photo. It gets me everytime I glance at the photo.
This photo is one of very few I have of my mother and I. I can't figure out why, I don't have a million photos of my mother and I here and there over the years. I just don't have many. I suspect, with the divorce of my parents and their new relationships- a lot of photos were destroyed. Maybe at one time in my life- my parents or my aunt gave me photos they came across and being young, just placed them aside without thinking. I believe when we are younger our minds are cluttered with the here and now. I don't think I really thought about the future of things, until I was about thirty years old. Oddly looking back, it seems as if I really only started to wonder about the depth of life in terms of it's meaning and my purpose- when I was in my thirties.
Now well into my fourties I see many things vividly, or at least I think I do. What I see in my mindseye are faces of important places and people in my life. My mothers face is always there. It's like she is trying to tell me write how you feel and share it. Even though I sometimes feel very alone in my thoughts of her. I feel as if she would be honored by me sharing the little things.
So to remember her, I blog it.
This photo is one of very few I have of my mother and I. I can't figure out why, I don't have a million photos of my mother and I here and there over the years. I just don't have many. I suspect, with the divorce of my parents and their new relationships- a lot of photos were destroyed. Maybe at one time in my life- my parents or my aunt gave me photos they came across and being young, just placed them aside without thinking. I believe when we are younger our minds are cluttered with the here and now. I don't think I really thought about the future of things, until I was about thirty years old. Oddly looking back, it seems as if I really only started to wonder about the depth of life in terms of it's meaning and my purpose- when I was in my thirties.
Now well into my fourties I see many things vividly, or at least I think I do. What I see in my mindseye are faces of important places and people in my life. My mothers face is always there. It's like she is trying to tell me write how you feel and share it. Even though I sometimes feel very alone in my thoughts of her. I feel as if she would be honored by me sharing the little things.
So to remember her, I blog it.